So it has been quite awhile since I have actually posted on here and I am sorry for those who did read which was probably only my close friends.. Today I am going to give you my thoughts not on news or anything but on my life...

I have recently made a huge change in my life. I ended a four year relationship with the mother of two of my three children.. It was quite a tough decision at first but in the end I decided that we needed to make the change. I am extremely happy now with life although I am not working right now that is the only downfall besides not seeing my children everyday, but it was for the better in several ways..

I am now back with Jessica a girl I was with over 6 years ago and until last year did not know I had a kid with her. It was neither of our fault because we never thought of the kid to be mine after we had split up. She has brought joy back into my life and it is the most remarkable thing I have had to experiance, she is an awesome person... I have to think that years ago if I would have never let her walk out of the door then she would be my wife right now and not someone else's wife. When she gets a divorce I plan on one day making her my wife. I could not ask for anything more.

Sometimes I wonder if I regret that we split up and in the long run yes I do regret that we went our seperate ways 6 years ago, although I could not see my life without the two kids I have with another woman. Those boys are my life. I have been asked if I was going to put the kid I found out who was just mine first over my other two since I pretty much missed out on the first 5 years of his life. The answer is no, I am going to treat them all the same because I love all my children the same. I always will, I will always be there for them no matter what. In fact I would do anything for them at any point they asked me.. One of my kids asked me to quit smoking because it was making me sick, I am done smoking now son. For my children, I am done. I Love them so much smoking is the last thing on my mind and I am packing it away. Two days no ciggerette and I am not even sweating the situation.. My kids are more important than my nicotine addictions.

As soon as I get back on my feet and have a job and we have a vehicle I plan on going back to church... I would go right now but I do not have a way to get there right now:(...

Everyone thank you for your time... I know this really is not much of an update but something was better than nothing.

Professional Wrestling Dream

I have always had a dream of wrestling in the indy scene or in the bigger promotions. I wish I could still be a wrestler. Not all that often just do it a few times a month unless the big promotions want me and offer me more money. Many people consider professional wrestling to be a fake sport. It is still real to me and always will be. Sorry for this short blog today but in conclusion my dream will remain a dream. That is all I have left to say about my number one dream.

If I could go back into time.

If I could go back into time I would have to choose the period of Abe Lincoln being president. I still think to this day he is one of our better presidents. He is a large part of how america is today. It is extremely sad that he was killed. If I were able to return to his time period I would stop this from happening. I remember thinking about this when I was in 5th grade and we took a field trip to Washington D.C. I saw the gun that killed honest Abe. I saw the bullethole through the glass in the building he was shot. They also had on display the suit he wore when he got shot and the pillow he died on. He did not deserve this. I really don't think anyone deserves to day. If you could go back into time what period would you choose?

How do I use Facebook?

Facebook is a good site for me to find old friends from whenever I was in school. These days I hardly have no friends. I just dont talk to nobody anymore and don't hang out with anyone. I normally go to work and come home everyday to my gf and kids. For me to want to talk to friends I use Facebook. It does seem kind of sad that I never ever use a phone to talk to them. Without facebook a part of my past would be missing because I would not be able to communicate with those in my past I was friends with or those who I never talked to in school but yet somehow we managed to be friends on facebook. Never have I been the open type to talk to anyone in school I was more less shy a lot of the times. With Facebook I can express myself to them and talk about anything without me worrying about what others think of me. Many of my friends knew I was disabled and some people didn't and that is why I sheltered myself in school. I don't worry about that anymore because I am myself and nobody is here to stare or laugh at me. They are now all my friends..

I also intend on using Facebook as a site to make new friends eventually. I haven't really done that yet because I still search for people from the past. It would be awesome to make and meet new people.

The last thing that I use this site for is to play many of their thousands of available games such as Mafia Wars, mobsters 2: Vendetta, Zoo World, Zoo Paradise and of course Las Vegas Slots. If you play any of these games and we are not friends or neighbors on there yet be sure to ad me.

That time of year...almost.

It is that time of year again where the nights become longer and we have our holidays approaching. This year it doesnt seem to bring the same smile to my face. I do not have enough money these days for this years christmas season. It is depressing that I wont be able to give my kids awhole lot this year. Right now I am actually looking for a job that would help me more than just by getting by with only the bills. My kids deserve to have a good christmas after all they go through just about every month at the doctors and or specialists. Hopefully this year we do have a holly jolly christmas. I believe there is a santa and he wont let me down.

Marion County smoking Ban

In the state of Indiana lies a county called Marion county. In this county alone they have banned smoking in resturants and many others places. They never did ban them in bars. Now they want to ban them in bars. I think that it is a total crock for them to do such a thing to us. Smokers have rights. I know the government wants to make the air better and safer for the people who live in this country, but we smokers have to have some rights dont we? What is going to happen to us next? Not aloud to smoke in our own house? I feel we are becoming a dictatorship and most of our freedom has gone away. The government should meet us in the middle in this bar thing. Maybe like how resturants use to do it they should have there own smoking or non-smoking section. The funny thing about this whole subject is I really do not go to bars in fact the first time I was in a bar was a little over a 10 days ago when my fiancee turned 21. I am almost 25 and feel that bars are not the place for me, but if I want to go to the bar I should be given the option to have a smoke with my beer. that is the best time to smoke I think whenever you have a good old cold beer in your hands.